Ya Had a Bad Day
by PlushChrome
Summary: The TARDIS isn't working properly, the Doctor is hurt, Amy is hungry, Rory is freezing, it's raining, and they're all trapped on a planet with a town of lunatics. And things just keep going down from there. Considered 2nd in our headconon GTTniverse, but can be read on its own.
1. Sentences That Just Shouldn't Be Said

_Author's notes: This story was written mostly by my sister, JoAmazing, but we're posting it on my account because it's part of our series, the GTTniverse. This story is considered 2nd in the series, but it can be read on its own._

_Disclaimer: We don't own Doctor Who or any characters belonging to Doctor Who. We only own the plot and OC's._

* * *

The TARDIS was an old ship. An old, fantastic, brilliant, beautiful, cool, ship that had always hung on for the Doctor and had always been his only constant travel companion through out everything.

He was immensely fond of it, but it was an old ship. And right now, that showed more then ever before.

It had all started at two in the morning.

They had had a rather trying day, and Rory and Amy had turned in for bed nearly four hours before hand. The Doctor even thought about hitting the hay himself, and he rarely ever slept.

But just as he had been saying goodnight to her, the TARDIS started malfunctioning.

It jerked and started up the warning signals, and it had all gone down hill from there as the engines groaned and the console started smoking.

And now the Doctor found himself hanging upside down by some hooked wires underneath the grated floor, with his sonic screwdriver in his mouth, trying to connect two wires and repair the damage to his beloved ship.

Removing the screwdriver from his pocket and sonic-ing the wires back together, he then swung around in his little hanging and began to work on something else, stuffing his sonic back in his mouth.

"Doctor?" Rory called worriedly, having evidently just entered the room. "Doctor, what's going on? Amy and I just woke up."

Great, Amy was up too. The Doctor rolled his eyes as he took his screwdriver out of his mouth again.

"Yeah, I know." He said, trying not to sound too annoyed, after all, it wasn't really Rory's fault that the TARDIS had stopped working right.

Amy and Rory came into view then, each looking a little sleep deprived, but otherwise fine. Amy started laughing as soon as she saw that he was hanging upside down.

"How do you get yourself in these situations?" She asked, still laughing. "Your face looks all red."

"You would look red too if you'd been hanging upside down for the past ten minutes." The Doctor defended himself.

"You'd better get down from there, Doctor." Rory said, frowning at the Doctor's haphazard ropes. "That _can't_ be safe."

The Doctor opened his mouth to tell Rory that he was fine up here and that Rory didn't need to worry, but at that moment, the wires snapped and he fell roughly to the floor.

Luckily, he didn't fall directly on his head, instead one of his shoulders took most of the fall, and it ended up hurting quite a bit.

"Doctor, hold still." Rory said, trying to sound firm.

"I'm fine, Rory." The Doctor said, clenching his teeth and sitting up. He felt his shoulder and then winced. "It's just dislocated, is all." He tried to reassure him.

"Let me help." Rory sounded much more firm that time, more like a doctor.

"Nope, I'm my own doctor." The Doctor said, jumping to his feet. "Plus, I'm not human; I don't think you'd know what to do with me."

"We already don't know what to do with you." Amy said, looking annoyed. "And what is wrong with the TARDIS?"

"Nothing, she's just an old ship." The Doctor defended his TARDIS. "It's just a malfunction, nothing serious."

"Yes, I can hear that." Amy said sarcastically as the sirens got louder. "Maybe its engines are failing."

"No, that's not it." The Doctor said, raising his voice to be heard over the sound of the sirens. He didn't really know though, which was somewhat new for him. His beloved TARDIS couldn't be failing.

"Then what's wrong?" Rory half yelled. The Doctor gave him a 'shut up' look.

"I'm not sure what's wrong." The Doctor half yelled back. "She is… being stupid!"

The sirens reached a new high and Rory and Amy covered their ears.

"Well, you are!" The Doctor yelled at the console. The wires sparked up suddenly and the Doctor jumped back, though that didn't stop him from getting his arm burnt slightly.

"Ouch." He muttered, holding his arm.

"WHAT?" Amy shouted at the top of her lungs. When the wires had sparked she had clutched Rory's arm so hard that he hissed in pain.

"I SAID," The Doctor shouted back. "OUCH!"

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Rory called, stepping toward the Doctor anxiously. "DID YOU GET BURNT?"

"JUST A BIT." The Doctor tried to convince him. "NOTHING THAT I CAN'T HANDLE."

"DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD TRY AND LAND?" Amy screamed. "IT CAN'T BE SAFE TO STAY IN THE VORTEX."

"YOU'RE RIGHT!" The Doctor told her, climbing back up to the main console.

"WHAT?" Rory and Amy asked at the same time as they followed him.

"I SAID THAT- OH NEVER MIND." Yelled the Doctor, beginning to flip levers and try and gain control of the TARDIS once more.

"WHAT?" Amy and Rory yelled again.

"NEVER MIND, I SAID!" The Doctor yelled to them as he ran to the other side of the console and turned on the hot water for a second. "I'LL TAKE US SOMEWHERE REMOTE!"

"YOU'RE GONNA TAKE US TO DUMB BEAR THE TOAD?" Amy yelled in confusion.

"NO." Rory shouted, shaking his head. "HE SAID THAT HE'LL TAKE US OUT FOR ROOTBEER FLOATS."

"SHUT UP!" The Doctor yelled as he pushed the lever that made it so that they could take off.

"WHAT?" Amy and Rory both yelled. The Doctor rolled his eyes.

Then they were all jerked off of their feet as the TARDIS took off erratically.

The console room began spinning violently like a merry-go-round. Amy screamed and all of them clutched at the railings, even the Doctor, who prided himself in his 'calm and cool' attitude during take offs.

"WHERE ARE WE GOING?" Amy screamed at the Doctor, he shook his head, confused.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SAID." He shouted. "SOMETHING ABOUT CARS?"

"WHAT?" Amy shouted to him.

"I SAID THAT I… Oh here we go again." The Doctor said, trailing off. He chanced a glance at Rory and regretted it; Rory looked like he was going to be sick.

"IF YOU THROW UP" The Doctor yelled in Rory's direction. "THROW UP IN A BUCKET, NOT ON MY TARDIS!"

Rory looked at him in bewilderment.

"I SAID TO THROW UP IN A BUCKET!" The Doctor screamed, though he would never have admitted that he had screamed if someone asked him.

"YOU… YOU _WANT_ ME TO THROW UP?" Rory asked, more confused then ever. The Doctor rolled his eyes.

"NO." He yelled. "I WANT YOU TO _NOT_ THROW UP, BUT IF YOU DO, CAN YOU MAKE SURE IT'S NOT ALL OVER MY TARDIS?"

"I'LL… TRY." Rory shouted uncertainly.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?" Amy yelled.

"NOTHING." Rory and the Doctor shouted at the same time. They were seldom on the same page, but when they were, it was almost as if they could read each others thoughts, which was extremely weird and often annoyed Amy.

The TARDIS came to a stop and Rory sighed in relief.

"I took us to Seela." The Doctor said, his voice was strained from all the screaming. "It used to be the biggest museum in the entire galaxy, but everything in it was transferred to a newer museum on Gavac 6. It's now just another planet, filled with empty buildings and evidence of something that once was great. A nice place for a vacation, don't you think?"

"Why did you pick this place again?" Amy asked him, greatly relieved now that the TARDIS had stopped spinning. She hesitantly got to her feet.

"Because it's remote, not one creature lives on that planet, so we can relax without worry of capture and possibly death." The Doctor pointed out. He stepped toward the doors, but then turned around to check up on Rory.

He still hadn't let go of the railing, and he had his eyes closed.

"Rory?" The Doctor asked, worried about his friend. "Do you need a bucket?"

Rory nodded without looking up.

The Doctor went to get him something, but it was too late, Rory had already bent over and puked on the TARDIS's floor, luckily, it was a part of the floor that wasn't grating so that it didn't fall on the engine.

"Oh, Rory." The Doctor groaned. "And I was three seconds from getting you that bucket, too."

"I'm sorry." Rory said, though really he had nothing to apologize for. "I'll clean it up, Doctor. Don't worry."

"Alright, just, please don't do it again." The Doctor sighed, he knew that it wasn't Rory's fault, but he could never say it. "I'll… see what I can do about repairs."

An hour later, both Rory and the Doctor had worked on the TARDIS, and each of them had black oil on their hands, arms, and shirts. The Doctor had also managed to get it on his face and even in his hair, though none of them were sure how he had done that.

Amy had cooked a meal, all while grumbling about men wanting to do the dirty work, and then tripped over one of the bars that Rory and the Doctor had left on the ground, and all of the food ended up on the ground.

Now, the Doctor found himself hanging upside down again, though more securely then he had been last time, calling out instructions to Rory, who was working at the controls, and trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his shoulder.

"You need to flip the switch to your right." The Doctor called up to Rory as he worked. "Then take the front off of the control box and cut the green wire."

"Which green wire?" Rory called back after doing what he'd told him to. "The bigger one, or the smaller one, or the one that's sort of in the middle."

"The one in the middle." The Doctor told him, inspecting some of the more burnt wires from his position in the hangings.

"Doctor?" Amy asked as she came into view. "Can I cut in for a second?"  
"Sure, let me just… Rory?" The Doctor said, ending in a yell. "Do you see the yellow button? It should be under the wires."

"Yeah, I see it." Rory called.

"Good. Now, press and hold the button for three seconds but no more then that." Said the Doctor, he turned once again in his wires until he was facing Amy. "So, what did you want to say?"

Amy put her hands on her hips. "Can't we take a break and explore around outside? It's very boring just sitting around."

"Um, the TARDIS should be fine if we leave." The Doctor said, considering. "So I'd say that that'd be fine, sure."

"Alright, do you need some help down?" Amy asked, smiling slightly at the state that the Doctor was in, with his hair all messed up and his clean cut outfit covered in oil.

"I can get down by myself, thanks." The Doctor said. He pulled himself up so that he was basically sitting on the wires and began to unhook himself before landing on his feet and grinning at Amy.

"See, I told you." He said, and then he walked to the main console, where Rory was.

"Hey, are we taking a break?" Rory asked, trying to get some of the oil off of his hands but just managing to smear it on his pants.

"Yep, you and I will get cleaned up and then we'll go and look around outside." The Doctor told him, heading to the doors that lead to the closet.

He went to open them, but they wouldn't.

"What's wrong, Doctor?" Rory asked, seeing his look of frustration and confusion.

"The door won't open." The Doctor said, stepping back and then flinging his full force at it, all that happened was that his shoulder hurt him a bit more. "It's probably due to the malfunction. I think the TARDIS is trying to repair itself, or something."

Rory walked forward and also tried to open it; the door wouldn't budge for him either.

"So what do we do?" Asked Amy, she had come to inspect the door too.

"I guess we go out like this." The Doctor said in distaste, looking down at his probably ruined jacket and sighing. "It's not ideal, but as long as we can't get into the other rooms of the TARDIS…"

"We could probably find someplace to get cleaned up outside." Rory pointed out. He was just about as filthy as the Doctor was.

"So, I guess we'll check out what it looks like outside." Amy said, striding to the door. She flung it open and stepped outside; Rory gave the Doctor a look like 'women' and then followed her.

He grabbed his sonic off of the table before heading out too.

They had landed in what must've once been the entrance hall of the old museum, because it was wide and pretty, though everything was covered in a thick layer of dust.

The ceiling had seemed to cave in around them, letting in the heavy rain that was falling directly on them and some parts of the walls had caved in too. There were some double doors that probably led outside.

Rory sneezed and Amy pulled her jacket more tightly around her.

"Great, it's raining too." Amy exclaimed sarcastically. "The TARDIS isn't working, I'm hungry, you two are covered in oil, and it's raining too."

"Well, look at it this way," The Doctor said cheerfully. "Things can only get better from here."

Suddenly, the double doors burst open and an incredibly tall and built man with a gun came in.

"Get down!" The man shouted at them, pointing his gun at them. "Get on the ground! Get down!"

"You call this better?" Amy said, getting down and holding her hands up.

"There are some sentences that I should just keep away from." The Doctor sighed.


	2. Artifacts, Polka Dots, and Feta Cheese

"I said to get on the ground!" The man with the gun said, stepping toward the Doctor Threateningly.

A young woman and a teenage boy came into the room and sighed at the scene before them.

The young woman had blond hair with rainbow streaks, and she was wearing a silk black evening gown and bright purple cow girl boots. The boy looked like a standard teenager, with golden curls and a thin face.

"Bruce!" The woman snapped disapprovingly. "That is not how we treat complete strangers that are covered in filth!"

"Yeah," Put in the kid, speaking to the big man like he was a six year old. "We treat them like we would treat ourselves and then give them something to eat."

"But-but they're not supposed to be here." The man – apparently Bruce, whined.

"_We_ aren't supposed to be here, Brucey." The girl pointed out, she turned to the Doctor and the others and smiled apologetically. "Hello." She said. "I'm Kit Kat, and this is Conrad Blake," She gestured to the boy. "And you already know Brucey Seer."

"Yeah, we recently became acquainted." The Doctor said in indignation. "And we're not filthy. This is oil, our ride broke down."

"What kind of a name is Kit Kat?" Amy asked, annoyed. Kit Kat just laughed.

"That's not my real name." She said as if it should be obvious. "But as it is, I think we should probably get out of the rain before we all catch colds. Now I know a great place that's just up a bit. Conrad, what's it called?"

"Mirdrid." Conrad said, balancing on the balls of his feet. "It's a little hotel that used to be used for museum guests. Since coming here, I did a bit of cleaning up, so the rooms are prepped and ready for take off."

Bruce saluted and he and Conrad marched out the door like soldiers.

"Come on then, strangers." Kit Kat said, she turned and followed her friends, counting down from five as she went.

"I thought that you said this planet was abandoned." Amy said, sounding confused.

"It was." The Doctor told her. "We're here, so why not them? They probably crashed here or something like that. The boy and the girl both seem nice enough."

"Yeah, and crazy to boot." Amy said, putting her hands on her hips and trying not to smile. "Out of everyone in the galaxy, we have to run into the crazy, trigger happy wanderers."

"Those are the best kind of people." The Doctor said, starting after the newcomers.

"Are we sure that this is a good idea?" Rory asked as he followed the Doctor out the entrance doors and through a touristy street. "We just met these people, and one of them seemed hostile and, well, he kind of tried to kill us."

"He wasn't aiming to kill." The Doctor said, waving an airy hand. "And you're the one who wanted a place to clean up, right?"

"Yeah, but not… Never mind." Rory sighed. Nothing he said would make any difference to the Doctor, and Amy was just happy as long as she could eat.

"Oh, calm down, Rory." Amy sighed as she walked. "The Doctor knows what he's talking about."

"Not always." Rory said, but he had already given up.

Kit Kat and the other two stopped at a tall building with lots of windows, evidently leading to hotel rooms, and then turned to look at the Doctor as they came toward them.

"This is the town hotel. It's called Mirdrid, and has several rooms and a kitchen and a lobby." Kit Kat said, smiling. "Me, Brucey, and Conrad live here and keep it clean and make sure that the walls are all built up. You're welcome to stay and get cleaned up and eat a fresh meal if you like."

"That would be wonderful." Amy said, looking at the doors longingly. "But Bruce over there needs to make sure that he keeps his gun on safety. And I'd prefer it if he didn't have one at all."

"Honestly, so would everyone." Kit Kat said, shaking her head. "But Brucey cries whenever you try to take his guns away. We just try and make sure that nothing sets him off. Like candy wrappers or drafty hotel rooms."

"Right," The Doctor said, looking over Brucey doubtfully. "Still, I believe that my companions and I would feel safer if we had some sort of guarantee that Brucey's initial surprise is over and that he is fine with us being here, because I think getting shot would put a bit of damper on my stay here."

"Of course." Kit Kat said welcomingly, turning to Brucey and smiling. "Brucey, why don't you tell the nice strangers that you have no intention of shooting at them."

"I won't shoot you," Brucey promised. "Or kill you, unless of course, you're hiding some dancing iguanas and plan to sneak them into the hotel so that they can eat all my feta cheese."

The Doctor smiled in confusion, turning to glance at Conrad for explanation, but he looked incredibly serious as if waiting for the answer to his large friend's question.

"No," Rory said, looking at Amy as if to say 'what did I tell you'. "No dancing iguanas here. And even if there were, we most definitely wouldn't let them steal your… feta cheese."

"Good." Brucey said, widening his eyes maddeningly. "Because then I would've had to take extreme measures."

"Cheese is very important here." Kit Kat started to explain. "It is one of the few delicacies that we here on Seela can rightly enjoy. And feta is Brucey's favorite kind. None of us are allowed to touch it."

"So then," Conrad cut in. "The Mirdrid Hotel is a place where you can stay and relax while on your stay in Seela. We here at Mirdrid believe that you can never be too accommodating to your guests."

"Conrad wanted to write hotel commercials when he was a youngster." Kit Kat said to the Doctor.

"There are several bedrooms, each with one bed, and a closet full of the freshest and nicest clothes." Conrad continued happily. "Each room has its own bath, with a shower and a sink and a toilet. Each room has a window with an incredible view, overlooking the entire town of Sarhya Seela, and one of the rooms, the one that I'm thinking of for Monsieur Bowtie, has a nice balcony, not to be confused with Valkarie, because I'm pretty sure they are female warrior archers."

"Monsieur Bowtie?" Amy laughed. "Okay, I'm definitely calling you that from now on."

"Your room," Conrad said, spinning on the spot to point at Amy. "Is the second best room in the whole hotel, directly after Kit Kat's. Only the best for a clean lady like yourself, Miss Carrot Head."

The Doctor laughed and Rory tried to hide a smile as Amy glared. "Oi," She said angrily. "It's Amy. Amy Pond, not Carrot Head."

"And it's Mrs." Rory informed Conrad, who looked from Amy to Rory and then smiled.

"Mrs. Pond." He said. "I've never heard a last name like that, but as it is, I'm simply a concierge, it's not my place to judge others names."

"You're a concierge?" The Doctor asked.

Kit Kat laughed. "No, no, Morris." She said, shaking her head at him like he was silly. "He just says that sometimes because it sounds good."

"I'm the Doctor." The Doctor said. "Not Morris; I don't even know where you came up with that, and not Monsieur Bowtie. Just the Doctor."

"You have to have a name outside of Doctor." Kit Kat said, still grinning happily. "Mr. Dr. Monsieur Bowtie would do, or perhaps Mr. Dr. Edgar Doctor. Or maybe Mr. Dobalina, Mr. Bob Dobalina."

"No, it's just the Doctor. Or Smith, if you like." The Doctor said, frowning at the strange assortment of names he had just been given.

"Smith, now that's something." Kit Kat agreed happily. "So we have Doctor Smith, Mrs. Amy Pond and…"

"Rory Williams." Rory said before anyone could start throwing out weird names for him too.

Kit Kat frowned. "Williams." She repeated. "I knew a Williams once, his name was Roman."

The Doctor, Amy, and Rory all stopped in their tracks and the Doctor slowly turned to Kit Kat. "I'm sorry," He said in confusion. "His name was Roman?"

"Yes," Kit Kat said, biting her lip. "He came here about ten years ago. At first, he tried to convince us, like you did, Smith, that his name was some obscure weird thing, and then he said it was Harry, but Harry is just far too close too actually being hairy and it made Brucey upset, so he told us it was Roman Williams."

"He came here with his friend named Jodi," Conrad cut in. "Is he a relative, Mr. Williams?"

"Uh, no." Rory said, looking at the Doctor for an explanation. "I've never heard of him."

"Hmm," Kit Kat said, turning her head to the side in consideration. "Oh well, he left after a bit anyway."

"What did he look like?" The Doctor asked. "This Roman?"

"Oh, like any other traveler." Brucey cut in. "Weird, jeans, blonde hair."

"Did he look anything like him?" The Doctor asked, pointing to Rory.

Brucey considered that for a second. "No," He said thoughtfully. "I don't think so. He and his friend only stayed for a bit; they just talked for a while, stole an artifact, and then left."

"Stole an artifact!?" Amy exclaimed. "You let them get away with that?"

"It's not like they were sneaking in dancing iguanas or something serious like that." Brucey said, shrugging his shoulders.

"But, anyway." Conrad interrupted. "I feel as though we're all slowly catching pneumonia standing out here. Now let's all go inside and get some tea running before death suddenly hits us in the face."

"That happened to me once." Brucey commented before going through the big hotel doors, ducking so that he could fit properly.

"Weird Travelers first?" Kit Kat said, grinning. The Doctor ran a quick scan of the hotel before walking in. Rory and Amy followed him in confusion and Kit Kat and Conrad stepped through after them.

The hotel lobby was nice, though it looked a little old. Like something you would find in 1976 instead of a futuristic tourist attraction. Conrad jumped behind the counter and pulled out three sets of keys.

"Here you go kiddos." He said, throwing the sets of keys at the Doctor, each with a numbered tie dyed keychain. "These are the keys to your respective hotel rooms." He said. "Dr. Smith's keys are the green ones, Mr. Not related to Roman's are the blues, and Mrs. Redhead Pond's keys are the pink ones with green avocado polka dots."

"It's just Amy." Amy sighed as she took her polka dotted keys from the Doctor.

"And I'm just Rory." Rory said as he also took his keys.

"And I'm Kit Kat!" Kit Kat said excitedly, jumping where she stood. "Now that we're all triple acquainted, I have something to do." She turned and cart wheeled out the door, with Amy, Rory, and the Doctor all staring after her. Brucey followed her, singing opera at the top of his lungs.

"I trust that you can find your rooms?" Conrad said as if nothing strange had just happened.

"Uh, yes." The Doctor said, scanning Conrad with his screwdriver and looking at the results. "Yes, I believe we can. Thank you for your hospitality."

"No problem," Conrad smiled. "After all, what are completely unrelated people that you don't know for? The numbers connected to your separate rooms are located on your tie dyed key chains."

"Yes, thank you again." The Doctor said, still smiling as he ushered Amy and Rory to go out the door leading to the stairs. "Really, we all appreciate your kindness. And make sure and thank Kit Kat and Brucey for me." He got through the door and immediately stopped smiling.

"What is it?" Amy asked in exasperation. "Are they invading aliens or some completely obscure monster that will devour us, or something like that?"

"No." The Doctor said, frowning. "No, but they should not be up and running at all. They should be dead."

"What do you mean?" Rory asked him, his brow furrowing in bewilderment.

"I checked the records." The Doctor said. "Really, a little while ago, I checked the records of Seela, so that if we ever needed a nice quiet place to recuperate or hide away, we could come here no problem. There should not be any sort of life forms here. The planet should be able to sustain life, but there shouldn't be anyone here at all. And, I did a scan of the hotel. It's. Not. Here."

"What?" Amy said, looking around her. "It's here, though. I'm standing on it."

"Yes, that's what doesn't make any sense." The Doctor said, starting to pace. "We clearly came from the museum, to here, but when I scanned the hotel, it completely bypassed the hotel like it was non existent."

"But, how did we get here if it doesn't exist?" Rory asked.

"That's what I'm trying to find out." The Doctor said, doing another scan. "Yep, absolutely no solid object, or life of any kind other then you, me, and Amy."

"But, Doctor, what about Kit Kat and Conrad and Brucey?" Rory said. "They were obviously alive."

"Were they?" The Doctor asked, looking at Rory.

Rory hesitated. "I don't know," he said. "They seemed like real people to me. Mad people yes, but real."

"Then why aren't they registering?" Amy asked. "Are they like… Robots or something?"

"No, then they would've registered as technology, they just didn't register at all." The Doctor sighed as he continued to pace. "We should probably get back to the TARDIS and see if we can do a scan of the entire planet, see what we can find."

"Good idea. I think that that's an incredible idea, except for the fact that we can't get into the TARDIS, because it's repairing itself, because it's an old, weird ship!" Amy said, getting louder as she spoke.

"It's not her fault." The Doctor cut in, defending his time machine. "She was obviously malfunctioning, and she did get us through the Vortex and she took us where I told her to take us."

"Why, though?" Rory said, frowning. "Why take us where you were trying to go if it was dangerous? Doesn't she protect us from stuff like that?"

"Maybe she thought it was where we needed to go." The Doctor said, trying to think logically with his shoulder still aching. "She does that sometimes, takes us where we need to go and instead of where we want to go."

"But, you just said that this is where you wanted to go." Amy reminded him as she leaned against the wall and crossed her arms.

"I wanted to go somewhere remote." The Doctor corrected her. "Somewhere where the TARDIS could recuperate in peace without us having to worry about dying or disease or growing really old."

"So she took us where you told her to go, where you needed to go, but not where you _wanted_ to go, even though you told her to come here?" Rory said in bewilderment.

"Exactly." The Doctor responded, smiling. "The only thing for us to do now is find out why we're needed."

"And how do we do that?" Amy wondered. "I hope it involves food."

"Yes, actually." The Doctor said. "My plan is to just stick around, taking advantage of Conrad and Kit Kat's hospitality for as long as we can, and try and investigate. Look around, ask some questions, and maybe find out a bit more about this Roman guy. Look around the hotel to see what we can see."

"So, we just sit around with these, um, mad people and try and gather information?" Rory clarified.

"Exactly." The Doctor said. "The good news is, they seem fairly accommodating, and I would assume that they have good service from what I've seen so far, and Conrad said 'clean and fresh' clothes were in our cupboards. The bad news is, they're all insane, and they possibly don't really exist, and neither does this entire hotel and possibly the entire town, and I'm soaking wet and covered in oil."

"And we can't get in the TARDIS." Rory pointed out.

"And I'm starving." Amy also chimed in, looking annoyed. "And I'm pretty certain that Brucey Seer still has a gun."

"And we don't know what's supposed to set him off." Rory said. "_And_ for some reason there's a man who calls himself 'Roman Williams' that was here before us that must have some sort of connection to me."

"And Kit Kat has been gone for a really long time." The Doctor interrupted, looking back at the door. "I didn't hear her come in, did you?"

"I didn't hear anything." Rory said, frowning. "Shouldn't Conrad at least be making some sort of noise?"

The Doctor exchanged a look with his companions. And then he rushed to the door and burst through it with Amy and Rory right behind him.

Nothing had changed; it was just the same 1970's hotel lobby. Conrad jumped from his place behind the counter. "What the heck?" He asked in shock, "Are you having trouble finding your rooms or something?"

"Um," The Doctor said, looking around in bewilderment. "We were just wondering where Kit Kat has gone off to? She's been gone for quite a while."

"I don't know." Conrad shrugged. "Probably left to go move some artifacts or something. I never really know, though. Brucey follows her everywhere, but I'm much more dignified. I'm a hotel concierge."

"Right." The Doctor said. "I guess we'll just go and find our rooms, then." He turned and left. "This place is making me anxious." He said as he walked.


	3. Death and Blankets

They walked a while in silence, before reaching one of the doors with numbers that matched the colored key chains. It was Rory's door.

He put his key in the lock and opened the door, revealing a nice hotel room with standard bedcovers and some weird fancy drapes over a large window.

"Oh," Rory sighed. "I was expecting something mental to jump out at me."

"Don't be such a wimp." Amy said, smiling at her husband, who shrugged.

"I guess I'll be seeing you tomorrow, then." He said, looking somewhat anxious that he'd be on his own here.

"Yeah," The Doctor said. "Goodnight, and all that."

Rory sighed again and shut the door to his bedroom.

"He'll be fine." Amy said, starting to stroll down the remainder of the corridor with the Doctor. "I mean, these people are crazy, but it's not like they're going to hurt him in any way."

"Nah, of course not." The Doctor said, smiling convincingly. He never really was certain about this sort of thing, and if he was honest he would've told Amy that he himself was worried for Rory's sake, even if the roman could take care of himself possibly better then the Doctor could. But, the Doctor lies.

He and Amy then came to the room with the number that matched the one on the Doctor's chain. He opened his door and saw the same kind of nice room that Rory was staying in, or it would've been, except for the writing on the walls.

It was written in plain black marker, almost like journal entries except that they were all made with confusing references to other things, sketches of completely obscure objects, arrows pointing to other, somehow connected entries, and plenty of random questions. As if the writer was talking to someone.

The writer cut from language to language, Spanish to German to hieroglyphics to several alien languages and then to Chinese and back to English. The Doctor could read most of it, but the TARDIS somehow wasn't translating it.

Also, lots of the entries were made in some sort of code, with different symbols indicating different things. There was a large frowny face with a thermometer in its mouth and coffee cups around a picture of someone apparently running into thin air. A large J stood over a pair of incredibly wide, red colored eyes and an arrow indicated the connection between a drawing of a wolf and a pair of robot looking boots with a question mark next to it.

"'What was with the spinach this morning, do you know?'" Amy read from the English part. "'Those things were not really here but might've been connected to previous adventure.' 'Tell Jodi about Matthew Dean and the connections.' 'This counting is really messing up my head, what ever happened to actual seconds? Four is the equivalent of two 1/2, two 1/2 to every four.' Doctor this is really weird."

"I agree," The Doctor said as he looked around the room. "For one thing, the TARDIS isn't translating this writing, which is odd. And I also think that the person who wrote this might've been our mysterious Roman Williams."

"At least we know it wasn't Rory, then." Amy smiled. "But how would you know that?"

"Because Conrad mentioned that he had a friend named Jodi." The Doctor reminded her. "And look here, on the ceiling it says 'Jodi made me soup. Soup!' and then it also says 'Maybe Jodi is closer to Josh then I thought.' It seems like this is the man that traveled through here."

"He must've fit right in." Amy said as she examined the artist's code messages. "Does he say anything about why the hotel doesn't exist?"

The Doctor looked around. "Only a bit." The Doctor said in disappointment. "Little half references or connected words thrown about. He mentions Kit Kat, but then again he also mentions Shirley Temple, so they might not even be connected. You read that he said something wasn't here, perhaps he means the hotel."

"Can you find anything useful?" Amy said, putting her hands on her hips and looking at the Doctor as he turned slowly on the spot to fully examine the entries.

"No." The Doctor sighed. "It's like he's being purposefully unhelpful! Occasionally, he'll almost give away some sort of information, but then he always cuts himself off. Though, some of these random things might be useful sometime later."

"Like what?" Amy asked, frowning at the obscure writing.

"Well, he throws in these random references." The Doctor started to explain. "Just small things, a sentence or a word that sounds ominous, like 'Here it comes' 'Predictions' 'Glorious' and 'The Darkness'."

"Write it down, or something." Amy said, rolling her eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Right." The Doctor agreed, still fully immersed in the black marker graffiti. He didn't even seem to notice when Amy closed his door on her way out.

Sighing, Amy continued on her way. She found her door soon enough, it was the last door in the corridor, and inserted her key, half expecting more writing on the walls or, like Rory had, something to jump out and attack her.

Instead she found herself in a bright, electric pink bedroom.

Everything was the exact same shade of blinding magenta. The carpets were made of fluffy feathers and it was pink. The walls were coated in a glossy paint and they were pink. The curtains hanging from the windows, the large wardrobe and the ceiling fan, the headboard on her bed and all the bedcovers and pillows. Everything in the entire bedroom. Pink.

Amy held up a hand above her eyes as if to ward off all the mind numbing pink color. "Wow." She said to herself, walking into the center of the room and blinking to try and adjust her eyes. "This is… Interesting."

She crossed over to where the pink wardrobe was, remembering what Conrad had said about fresh clothes, and opened it.

"Hi!" Kit Kat said, jumping out of the wardrobe.

Amy gasped in shock and jumped back. "What are you doing?" She demanded.

"Oh, just hanging round'." Kit Kat laughed. "Sorry if I scared you."

"How did you get in here?" Amy said, looking over her shoulder at the previously locked door. Kit Kat shrugged.

"Oh, I have the master key." She said simply, bouncing over to Amy's window and flinging open the curtains, revealing a nice view of the half depleted, touristy town that Amy had seen before.

"Alright," Amy said. "What are you doing here?"

"What _aren't_ I doing here, you might say." Corrected Kit Kat maddeningly. There was a knock on Amy's door and Kit Kat went to answer it.

"That'll be the Doctor." Amy said, walking with her. "He probably heard me scream and came to see if you were trying to kill me or something."

But when Kit Kat opened the door; it wasn't the Doctor as Amy had expected, it was a girl with blonde hair and hazel colored eyes, wearing a flowy evening gown like Kit Kat's. Hers was a nice creamish color and balanced nicely with her deep tan skin and she also had a camera hanging from her neck.

"Hello." The girl said. "I'm Adelaide Grace."

"Um, Amy Pond." Amy greeted the woman, surprised by her appearance. She hadn't thought that anyone but Kit Kat, Conrad, and Brucey stayed here.

"Addie!" Kit Kat greeted excitedly, and then she turned to Amy as if she was going to explain something. "Adelaide is the town psychiatrist. She lives here as well."

"It's nice to meet you." Adelaide said nicely, and then she picked up her camera and snapped a photo of Amy, it printed out and she handed it to Amy with a smile. "Souvenir?" She offered.

Amy looked down at the photo; it wasn't exactly the most flattering photo that Amy had ever seen of herself, as her face clearly showed her confusion.

"Uh, no thanks." She said.

"It's nice to see some visitors." Adelaide said as she put the photo in her pocket. "We haven't had one since that nice Roman came through here."

"What's up with this Roman?" Amy asked her, finding that, so far, she sounded a little sane.

"Oh, he stayed here for a little bit." Adelaide shrugged. "Came through with his nice friend Jodi. He seemed to like us very much, though he disappeared occasionally while he stayed here. And then he just left, after writing on our walls and stealing one of our artifacts."

"He seems pretty popular." Amy noted, trying to get some information.

"Oh, yes he was." Adelaide smiled. "Just about everyone in this town knows about him. We all enjoyed-"

"Everyone in town?" Amy interrupted. "You mean in the hotel?"

"No," Adelaide said, her smile drifting into a frown. "I mean everyone in town. Everyone in Sarhya." She turned to Kit Kat. "Where's Brucey?" She asked.

"Well, probably somewhere being Brucey." Kit Kat answered, as if this was a bad thing. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I think I saw him looking rather angry." Adelaide said, her voice disapproving. "I hope there's nothing that these new people have brought in that might've set him off."

Kit Kat seemed to consider this for a second and then she gasped.

"I gave him some blankets and he looked upset!" She said. Adelaide also gasped and then both of them turned to Amy.

"Do you know what this means?" Kit Kat asked her. Amy looked from her to Adelaide in confusion. "No." She said. "What?"

"It means that the promise is inactive!" Adelaide said, clearly upset. "It means that Brucey is upset and has a gun!" Kit Kat turned and ran out the still open door and Adelaide followed her.

"Wait!" Amy called, taking off after her.

"There's no time!" Adelaide insisted. "We need to go now!"

* * *

The Doctor looked through the clothes in his wardrobe, trying to find a jacket to replace his ruined one when there was a knock on his door.

"Just a minute." He said, walking to the door and opening it. "Amy, I-" It wasn't Amy though. It was Brucey Seer, standing there and smiling happily, his arms full of heavy, black blankets.

"Hey, here are some blankets." He said, holding out the blankets for the Doctor to take. But when the blankets were extended enough he revealed the gun in his hands and pointed it at the Doctor. "And here is your death!"

The Doctor held up his hands and took a step back. "Let's not be hasty." He said, trying to give the big man a reassuring smile. "No dancing iguanas here, remembers?"

"No!" Exclaimed Kit Kat, coming out of nowhere and tackling Brucey to the floor.

How such a small woman could take down such a huge man was a mystery to the Doctor. But she was closely followed by an out of breath Amy and a dark skinned blonde girl, who surveyed the scene before her with a solemn face before snapping a picture with the camera on her neck.


	4. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

"What did I tell you?" Kit Kat sighed as she stood up. Brucey also jumped to his feet, and the Doctor took a step back as he did so. "I said, 'No Brucey, these are good people. Don't point your guns at them'."

Brucey's bottom lip began to shake, and Kit Kat and the blonde melted. The blonde girl gave him a hug while he sobbed onto her shoulder that he just couldn't help himself and Kit Kat patted his shoulder sympathetically.

Amy and the Doctor exchanged a very confused, somewhat exasperated, and rather anxious look. What was wrong with these people?

"It's alright, Brucey." Blondie assured him. "It's all right. You couldn't help yourself. We understand."

"He just pointed a gun at me!" The Doctor exclaimed in indignation. Kit Kat threw him a glare.

"He didn't mean to!" She insisted. "It was the blankets, wasn't it, poor Brucey?" Turning back to Bruce, patting his back and pouting. Brucey nodded with his head still buried in Adelaide's shoulder.

"They're just so -" Brucey took this moment to sniff. "So blanket-y! I just couldn't take it! I know that I sh-should've just walked away. But it was so, so, tempting and they were blankets! I just – just couldn't handle it."

"I know." Kit Kat assured him, and then she turned to face the Doctor and Amy. "No more blankets." She said firmly. "They're setting Brucey off, and who knows what he'll do next. From this day forth, all blankets are outlawed."

"You're outlawing blankets?" Amy asked, furrowing her brow and clutching her side. Still out of breath.

"Absolutely." Kit Kat said madly. "I am in charge here and when I say no blankets, then you give me your blankets."

"I'll take care of it, Kitty." The blonde said, wrenching herself away from Brucey, who was still blubbering. "You take Brucey downstairs and have Conrad make him some beef stew."

Kit Kat bit her lip for a second in consideration. "Oh, alright." She agreed. "Just make sure no blankets are around."

She took Brucey's hand and led him away down the corridor. He followed after her meekly. Still making excuses about why he had threatened the Doctor with his gun.

The Doctor turned to the blonde. "Who are you?" He asked. "What's wrong with that man? Why are blankets such a bad thing?"

"I'm Adelaide." Adelaide told him simply. "Brucey is very delicate and, forgive me, a bit mad. And to answer your third question, no one knows. Sometimes Brucey just gets more violent then normal and claims that the source of his violence is a certain object. That object is then outlawed from the hotel and sometimes even from the town and then life moves on until something else sets him off. Last time it was canary's that set him off, the time before that it was high heeled shoes."

"High heeled shoes?" The Doctor wondered. "Is that why Kit Kat was wearing the boots?"

"Yes." Adelaide said, hiking up her long skirt to reveal closed toed flats. "No one even knows what's so upsetting about these things to him, but he just loses it if things aren't his way."

"Just take away his guns!" The Doctor suggested, looking frustrated. Adelaide snapped a picture with her camera and watched as it printed out.

"Souvenir?" She asked, holding out the picture.

"Thank you." The Doctor said, smiling as he took the photo and then tossed it over his shoulder. "Now then, why don't you take away his guns?"

"Because!" Adelaide snapped, glaring as she watched her picture flutter to the ground. "He cries whenever we try. Now, unless you want him to show up here and shoot you, give me your blankets!"

The Doctor struggled on the verge of speech, but then decided to just cave in. After all, these people were crazy.

"Fine." He said, stepping back into his bedroom and ripping the thick, paisley comforter off of his bed, revealing the tan sheets underneath.

"We should probably take those too." Adelaide said, sighing. "I'm sorry, but when you visit Sahrya, you have to be willing to make changes."

"Yeah, well we might not be visiting for very long." The Doctor said as he removed the sheets and handed the large bundle to Adelaide. "Our ride should be fixed fairly soon, anyway."

"That's fine." Adelaide said, smiling. "Like I said, we don't get visitors very often, so whenever we do it's a real treat."

"You seem so sane." Amy said, looking at Adelaide in bewilderment. "I mean, compared to everyone else."

"That's why I'm the psychiatrist." Adelaide said as she shrugged her shoulders. "But I'm still a little mad. Everyone here is. I'm surprised that you are not. The last sane person ever here was Jodi Aarons, Roman's friend. There wasn't a sane person before that, and there hasn't been a sane person since."

"What is it with this Roman Williams?" The Doctor asked.

"Well, he was just cool, is all." Adelaide said indignantly. "He was really fun and just as mad as we all are. Though, he did tend to mess with Brucey."

"How did he mess with Brucey?" The Doctor frowned. "Did he sneak in iguanas?"

"Actually, yes." Adelaide said, her eyes widening. "It was like he tried to go out of his way to make Brucey upset. He brought in iguanas, ate all the feta cheese, stole the room keys, drank coffee, filled the basement with daisies and practically hit him in the face with that plush horse!"

"And what did Brucey do?" Amy asked. Adelaide frowned.

"You know," She said thoughtfully. "The weird thing was, he seemed to get better when people weren't catering to his every whim. He only threatened to kill Roman once, and then he couldn't do anything to him, because Roman just blew up his gun."

"I thought he cried whenever you messed with his guns." The Doctor remembered. "Didn't he throw a fit when Roman did it?"

"Well, yes." Adelaide admitted. "But Roman wasn't having any of it. He yelled 'Eat it or wear it' and then dumped a bowl of macaroni and cheese on his head. That certainly shut him up."

"So, why don't you threaten him with mac and cheese all the time?" Amy wondered.

"Because Kit Kat banned it." Adelaide sighed unhappily. "And Kit Kat is like a hurricane when she's upset. Even Roman didn't often challenge her. The only person who could manage it was Roman's friend Jodi."

"So you're stuck here with a bunch of insane maniacs." Amy said, nodding. "One of whom is a control freak and the other has a gun."

"Oh, don't be sad." Adelaide smiled. "I'm a happy soul here in crazy town." She laughed once and then snapped a picture and held it out for Amy to take.

"Souvenir?"

"Uh, sure." Amy said, taking the photo and then handing it to the Doctor, who threw it over his shoulder again.

"Let's go get the rest of those blankets." Adelaide smiled before turning and walking down the corridor, humming happily.

The Doctor frowned and turned to Amy. "Where's the roman?" He asked.

"How should I know?" Amy said, furrowing her brow. "I would ask Kit Kat about that, or Adelaide."

"Why would I ask Kit Kat and Adelaide?" The Doctor wondered. "Why would _they _know where Rory is? He's _your_ husband."

"Wait, Rory?" Amy said. "I thought you were talking about Roman Williams."

"I've heard quite enough about Roman Williams." The Doctor sighed. "Though, now that you ask, where _is_ that Roman? No, I was referring to the other roman. _Our_ roman."

"I'm not sure where that roman is." Amy said. "Probably still in his room."

"Shouldn't he be in on this?" The Doctor wondered.

"Yeah, he probably should." Amy commented, walking to the door and stepping through it. "What number was his room again?"

"299." The Doctor told her, walking with her. They reached his door and the Doctor knocked on it, but there was no answer.

"Rory," The Doctor called through the door. "Rory I need you to give me your blankets. Brucey is against them and Kit Kat has banned them."

There wasn't a response. The Doctor exchanged a glance with Amy and knocked harder.

"Rory!" Again there was no answer.

"If you're looking for your friend," Adelaide said, stepping out of one of the rooms and making the Doctor jump. "He's not in there. He went downstairs a little while ago, I think."

"Why?" The Doctor wondered. Adelaide shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know," She said. "Maybe he didn't like his room or something, or maybe the crazy's contagious and he caught it while he was here."

"Alright," The Doctor said calmly. "Let's hope that's not an option here. Let's get down stairs."

"Right," Amy agreed, looking just a tad worried. She turned and raced away and the Doctor ran after her until they reached the lobby. There was no one in the lobby, but there were sounds coming from a door to the right.

The Doctor started towards it and then flung it open.

The room was a kitchen, lined with counters and sinks. Sitting around a large table, were Kit Kat, Brucey, Conrad, and Rory, who was pouring some coffee into four cups and looking tired.

"Rory," The Doctor sighed. "What are you doing down here?" Rory blinked in confusion. "I couldn't sleep," He said. "Why? What's going on?"

The Doctor looked anxiously at Brucey, who was examining his guns absently. "Nothing really," The Doctor lied. "We just were wondering... where you were is all."

Suddenly, Brucey looked over at Rory, and yelled.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Rory dropped the coffee pot in surprise and coffee spilled everywhere, causing Brucey's howl to become louder as he suddenly jumped up and stood on his chair, trying to get his feet away from the slowly spreading beverage.

"Um, what." Rory stated, more an utterance of disbelief than an actual question. "It's just coffee."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Brucey yelled. "COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Brucey!" Kit Kat said in concern. "He didn't mean it! The bad man will clean all this up right now, won't you, Bad Man?" She turned and sent a glare to Rory, who blinked.

"But, he's the one who startled me and made me drop the pot," he said.

"No excuses," Kit Kat said. "It's your fault for making coffee in the first place!"

"What." Rory said again.

"It's banned," The Doctor explained. "We're not allowed to have coffee here, apparently. Or blankets."

"Blankets?" Rory echoed blankly. "But that doesn't make any sense. I have blankets up in my room."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Brucey yelled again, jumping from the chair and rushing over to Rory, who backed up in surprise. Brucey grabbed the front of Rory's shirt and began shaking him, and the Doctor, Amy and Adelaide all rushed forward to try and stop him.

They finally got him off of Rory, who stood in stunned silence while Amy rubbed his back soothingly. Over in the corner of the room, Kit Kat was doing the same to Brucey. "That's okay, everything's alright now," Kit Kat said. "Bad Man won't ever hurt you again."

"H-how can you be so s-sure?" Brucey cried out desperately.

"Because," Kit Kat said decidedly. "I'm going to ban him now."

She turned t Rory. "You are now officially banned from this hotel," she said. "Get out."

This time, Rory didn't even utter his disbelief. He just looked at her.

"You can't be serious," Amy said. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"

"You too," Kit Kat said. "Banned! Get out!"

"This is ridiculous," the Doctor protested. "Amy didn't even set him off!"

"I'm still not sure what I did," Rory spoke up.

"You too, Doctor!" Kit Kat said. "You're all banned! Go away before I let Brucey shoot you!"

Brucey, upon hearing he might get a chance to use his guns, cheered up considerably. "Can I?" He asked. "Can I, please? Pretty pretty pretty please with ketchup on top?"

"Only if they don't leave RIGHT NOW!" Kit Kat said.

"It's fine, we're leaving," The Doctor said quickly before Amy could protest even more.

"I'm very sorry about all this," Adelaide said. "But there's nothing I can do. You'd better gather any things you brought with you before Brucey sets them on fire."

"Alright then," Rory said. "Let's go right now. I don't think we brought anything."

With that, the Doctor, Amy and Rory all left the hotel.

"Well, now what do we do?" Amy asked. "Do you think the TARDIS is repaired enough for us to leave?"

"No, not yet," The Doctor said. "Besides, there's something very strange about this place. Mainly, none of this is real, and this mysterious Roman Williams they all know and love. I say we go find the rest of this town and investigate."

"Oh, fine," Amy said. "But let's hurry and get this over with. I really don't want to stick around long enough to see Brucey make good on his threats."

"No kidding," Rory said. "That was just weird."


	5. Forget the Name of this Chapter

_Author's Notes: Hey, sorry it took so long for us to post. Funny story, actually. I was looking through my stories, telling my sis which one we needed to write for next, and as we sat down to write a chapter for this, we discovered that we actually had a whole chapter that we'd written, that we just forgot to post. XD So, here it is, the chapter we never posted. XD_

* * *

It wasn't hard to find the town, it was a ten minute walk from the hotel. Why the hotel was built so far away from town was another mystery in itself, but there were more pressing issues to deal with.

Namely, the crowds of people walking around the dilapidated town, none of them registering on the Doctor's Sonic Screwdriver.

"I don't get it," Amy said as the Doctor scanned and checked and rescanned and rechecked the settings. "How can they not be here? I see them, they're solid, they're real."

"Well," The Doctor suggested, frowning in confusion. "Why don't we just ask?"

"Ask?" Amy said, raising her eyebrows. "What, we just gonna walk up to someone and say 'Hey, pardon me, but why aren't you real?"

"No, of course not," The Doctor said. "But we can ask leading questions that point to the answers, and be all sneaky about it."

"Be all sneaky?" Amy repeated with a laugh. "You don't do sneaky, remember?"

"Shut it, Pond," The Doctor said, grinning back. "I can do sneaky when I want to. 'S'why I have the Psychic paper."

With that, the Doctor turned and stopped a woman who was walking by. "Excuse me," he said, pulling his Psychic paper out and glancing at it before flashing it at the woman. "We're from Artifacts R Us, we're here to curate some of your museum pieces, for the Official grand opening of the Artifacts R Us Crown Piece Museum of History and Encyclopedic Knowledge of the Universe and All Information Thereof. We're looking for a Miss Maria Hannah Sontanafana née Dulgaria of the Solorax system, she was supposed to meet us here in town. Do you know her?"

"I'm afraid not," the woman said brightly. "No one by that name has been in this town for at least, mmm, 55 years."

"Well then," The Doctor said, putting his Psychic paper away. "I suppose we'll just have to talk to you. Now then, what's the deal with this town? How long have you been living here exactly?"

"Actually, I have a question for you," The woman said. "Why did you show me that blank piece of paper when you were telling me about your pretend museum?"

The Doctor froze. "What?" He asked.

"I'm just curious," The woman said. "It's nice to meet you, by the way. What's your name?"

She held out her hand to the Doctor, who shook it. "Um," he said. "I'm John Smith. What's your name?"

"I just told you, I'm Curious," The woman said. "Curious Anne Fermiliar."

"Oh," Rory said. "Is Curious a nickname, then?"

"Oh, no," Curious said with a laugh. "That's just who I am. I am Curious. Certainly, you have more than one name yourself? You have a first name? A middle name? A surname?"

"Um, yeah," Rory said. "I just... nevermind."

Curious laughed. "You sure are a strange one," She said. "The whole lot of you are! The man with the blank paper, the man who really makes no sense, and only has one name, and the woman who is a mute"

"Oi!" Amy said. "I'm not a mute!"

"Oh, so you've learned to talk then," Curious said happily. "That's amazing! You really must speak publically about overcoming physical disabilities."

"Seriously, what is up with this town!?" The Doctor exclaimed, looking over Curious in bewilderment.

"What town?" Curious asked curiously.

Everyone blinked for a second. "Um," Rory said. "This town."

Curious laughed. "Oh, such a clever little boy," she said. "You certainly have quite an imagination!"

"G'day, t'ya, Ma'am," said a newcomer, a man with a thick red mustache and a bowler hat. "How ya holdin' up this fine morn?"

"Oh, that's just too much," Amy said. The newcomer was speaking with an incredibly thick, obviously typecast Scottish accent.

"Oh, would'ja look at that," He said, smiling at Amy. "A Scot Lander, then? I wonder, m'dear lass, d'ya happen to be a distant cousin o' mine? P'raps we share a family crest!"

"This is Carrot," Curious introduced Amy happily. "She used to be a mute, but that didn't stop her from chasing her dreams! Her story is an inspiration to many!"

"O' course she didn't quit," The man said, a proud twinkle in his eye, his mustache turning up jovially. "She's Scottish, for one, and it runs in the blood, for another. My brave dear cousin."

"I'm not your cousin," Amy said. "I don't even know your name!"

"M'name?" The man asked, blinking in surprise. "Why, I'm Tavish Dougal Ferguson the Third, at yer service, m'lass!"

He swept a wide bow, and then looked up at her with a smile. "And Y'must be the long lost Carrot Lilias Ferguson, stolen away, from her cradle, as it were! There's been many a search for ye, yer poor mother near died broken hearted when y'couldn't be found!"

"No, I'm not," Amy insisted. "My name is Amy, Amelia Williams!"

"Now, Williams, that's a name I ne'er heard in these last ten years. Could it be possible, that my dear brave cousin was found and raised by the family of my dear frien' Roman Williams, gone these past ten years?"

"No, there's no relation," Amy said. "My name is Williams because I married him, and his name is Williams," Amy said, indicating Rory.

"Ah!" Tavish exclaimed happily, rushing forward and pulling Rory into a bear hug. "A new cousin o' mine! Congratulations, m'lad! Ye've caught yerself a fine young Scot, y'did! I'm happy to welcome ye into our large, loving, family!"

"Uh, thanks," Rory said, trying to pull out of the hug. "But I-"

"Oi!" Tavish said, calling to a young girl who was walking by. "Eara! Go spread the news! Our long-lost cousin has been found, and she's brought a new cousin, related to our dear friend Roman Williams!"

"There's been a wedding!?" The girl, Eara, exclaimed with a grin.

"Aye, that there has!" Tavish nodded. "Order a celebration! Spread the word amongst the kin! Have the Baker make a cake!"

"Aye, sir!" The girl shouted before running off, stopping a few feet away to talk to Curious, who received the news in shock and surprise, despite the fact she had heard the whole thing.

"You really didn't have to do that," Amy said, turning to Tavish.

"Nonsense!" Exclaimed Tavish. "It's been far too long since we had a celebration! You've given us a reason to rejoice, you've given us two! Nay, three! Your safe return, your marriage, and the newfound relation of a long gone friend. 'Sides, I already sent word through Eara. 'Twould be a right shame to cancel the party now."

A small crowd was beginning to gather by this time, whispering and gossiping and staring at the three travelers in excitement.

"Okay," Amy said. "This place is getting weirder by the second."

Suddenly (as if everything else weren't enough) A man came barreling through the crowd, falling against Rory, who took a few steps back, startled.

"YOU!" The man yelled. "COUNT THE BIRDS!"

"Uh..." Rory said, blinking. "What?"

"Count the birds!" The man said desperately. "Count them! COUNT THEM!"

"The birds?" Rory said in confusion. "What about the birds?"

"What birds?" The man asked.

Rory stared. "But you just said..."

The man frowned in confusion. "...Said what?" He asked.

"You said... You said to count... nevermind," Rory said. "Forget I said anything."

Everyone gasped, and the crowd got very quiet.

The Doctor looked around. "Um, what's the matter?" He said. "What happened?"

"He said the word," Tavish muttered, looking worried. "We're not allowed to say the word."

"What?" Amy said. "What word?"

"The word that he said," The man who had demanded they count the birds exclaimed. "The word he said right after 'nevermind' and right before 'I'. That word."

The Doctor, Amy and Rory all thought back. "Oh," Rory said. "You mean 'forget'?"

Everyone gasped again.

"HE SAID IT AGAIN!" The bird man yelled. "GET HIM!"

"What!?" Amy demanded, as about half the crowd began yelling and rushing at them.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" The Doctor was yelling over the crowd. "Let's stop and think about this!"

"Doctor!" Rory called as the crowd took hold of his arms and started pulling him towards the center of town. "Doctor!"

"Rory, hang on!" The Doctor yelled, trying to follow him through the mob of angry people. "Rory, don't worry, we're coming!"

"Doctor, what are we going to do?" Amy asked, having to speak loudly to even be heard over the shouting.

"Doctor," Tavish said urgently. "I know where they're taking him, follow me!"

He cut back and left the traveling mob, and the Doctor and Amy shared a glance before deciding that they could at least trust Tavish to have their best interests at heart, especially since he seemed to truly believe they were his family.

Running after him, they cut through the mob and stopped out in the square, where Tavish was talking to a scared looking Eara. "Run and get the rest o' the kin, lass," Tavish told her. "Tell them there's a family emergency at the courthouse. Haste! All speed, Eara!"

Eara turned and ran off without a word, followed by a few red-haired cousins, who also looked anxious.

"Tavish," Amy said. "What's going on?"

"I'm afeared our young cousin said the one word that has been banned in Sahrya," Tavish said. "The stormy lass Kit Kat banned it ten years ago, because it caused her friend Brucey to go into a terrible rage. The town was nearly destroyed by his glitch, if it weren't for Roman, we might've been lost. As it is, Kit Kat vowed to never let that word be uttered again. O'course, once every twain years or so, someone forgets and slips up, but they're usually forgiven if Brucey or Kit Kat 'tis not 'round."

"Well, neither of them were here when Rory said it," Amy reminded him. "Why was he taken off?"

"Because, dear cousin," Tavish said. "That man who came up to him, he was Ill William Alice Seer. He's the biggest telltale in Sahrya, on account o' Brucey bein' his brother an' all."

"Well, that's just great," Amy said. "Now what are we supposed to do?"

"It'll be hard," Tavish said thoughtfully. "There're too many witnesses to plead innocent. We'll have to fight that the law itself must be revoked. It be high time that Brucey be taught to go right in the head agin."

"Taught?" The Doctor asked, frowning. "How can someone be taught to go sane?"

"Well, most of his problems lie in bein' given his way in everything," Tavish said. "Iffen he be made to live like the rest o' us, he might be taught to be better. Roman almost managed it. 'Twas all Kit Kat could do to put things back to rest when he left."

"Right, so Rory's been taken to court for saying a word that makes Brucey upset," Amy recapped. "And the only chance of helping him is by revoking a law, and in order to do that, we have to make Brucey somewhat sane again, and Kit Kat's the real obstacle."

"Right y'are," Tavish said. "Let's get on down to the courthouse before they sentence him without us."

"Yes, that certainly would be rather bad," The Doctor agreed as they all hurried off.


End file.
